'Love Is Blind's Sarah Ann Is a Pick Me, and It's Embarrassing

The Big Picture

• Jeramey exhibited abysmal behavior by lying to his fiancée Laura and meeting up with another woman.
• Sarah Ann's actions were influenced by internalized misogyny and a desire for validation from Jeramey.
• Both Jeramey and Sarah Ann downplayed their wrongdoings, demonstrating a lack of maturity and accountability.

Season 6 of Love Is Blind hasn’t just been a rollercoaster. It has been a typhoon of dysfunctional relationships. News has been coming out left and right about cast members who went into the reality series while already being in relationships. Even fan favorite Trevor Sova, who seemed to be so in love with Chelsea Blackwell, turned out to be a liar. Viewers were on his side until screenshots of texts with his actual girlfriend were leaked online. In the texts, he talks about how his participation was fake, just like several others in the experiment. However, when it comes to lies and deceit, Jeramey Lutinski takes home the grand prize.

Jeramey, like most, seemed like he was genuinely looking for his soul mate. He was stuck between two women in the pods, Laura Dadisman and Sarah Ann, before ultimately deciding to propose to Laura. The trip after leaving the pods was positive, and it seemed as if Jeramey and Laura were on the right path. Things changed drastically, however, after Jeramey received a message from Sarah Ann saying she still wanted to be with him if he gave her the chance. Initially, he did the right thing and showed the message to Laura. His behavior afterward, however, was downright abysmal. He stayed out all night, not coming home until the early morning, and then lied to Laura about where he was. He eventually had to admit, after Laura told him she already knew, that he had met up with Sarah Ann. Not only that, but he said that they spoke for hours before he returned home. Jeramey felt like he was fine because he did not sleep with Sarah Ann during that time; they just talked. Laura was fed up with his non-apologetic behavior, and their engagement effectively ended there.

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Why Sarah Ann Is a Pick-Me =

When the entire cast gathered together by the lake, Laura got the chance to share what went down with the other women who left the pods engaged. Shortly after, Jeramey arrived, and later, so did Sarah Ann. The tension was beyond palpable, and AD decided to speak with Sarah Ann to hear her side of the story. AD went to Sarah to hear how she felt and see if she really felt like she had done the right thing. When AD questioned the morality of Sarah Ann’s actions, she immediately got defensive and ran crying to Jeramey, who also agreed that neither of them was at fault for any of the vitriol.

In the heyday of Grey’s Anatomy, the major plot was that Dr. Derek Shepherd was in love with a young resident named Meredith Grey. Things come to a head, however, when Meredith learns that he was married to another doctor. In a climactic moment in their storyline, Meredith bares her soul and says, “Pick me. Choose me. Love me.” He winds up not choosing her, and after realizing not choosing her was a mistake, he finally decides to leave his wife. The whole plot is painted as a beautiful story of love, longing, and bravery, and the show's popularity was cemented in the TV drama zeitgeist. On TV, it was moving, but a scenario like that in the real world is downright grimy. In reality, infidelity can have a ripple effect that can destroy someone’s life. Real people feel the real pain of betrayal in adulterous situations, and that’s why people tend to have strong reactions that are negative toward the people who do it.

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When AD approached Sarah Ann about the situation, she kept emphasizing the fact that she wished she had fought harder for him. And every time that AD mentioned Laura’s feelings, she got upset and defensive. There is an old phrase that says, “A hit dog will holler,” which essentially means that defensiveness in response to a question is an indication of guilt. That feels right for the conversation between Sarah Ann and AD. AD was not trying to accuse her of anything outright, but she just wanted to know why Sarah Ann thought messaging a man who was engaged to someone else was okay. Sarah Ann’s response was to get upset and run away to cry to Jeramey.

Sarah Ann Feels Justified Because Society Taught Her That

Why does Sarah Ann think it’s okay to approach someone else’s fiancé? Regardless of their relationship in the pods, it’s still an inappropriate thing to do. Why did she feel like her actions were justifiable? The answer may surprise some: internalized misogyny. Another way to phrase it is that it's a Grey’s Anatomy effect. She believes that Jeramey should have chosen her and that he’d be happier with her. Her desire to be picked by Jeramey led to them speaking for hours on end the night he went out. Sarah Ann’s behavior falls in line with the “Pick Me” way of thinking.

The term “Pick Me” is a slang term that is defined as: “Pick me girls are not women who simply don’t conform to gender stereotypes. They’re women who aim for male validation by asserting the ways they view themselves as superior to other women.” The feelings and thought processes behind Pick Me behavior are tied directly to internalized misogyny. Internalized misogyny is defined as “the involuntary belief by girls and women that the lies, stereotypes, and myths about girls and women that are delivered to everyone in a sexist society are true. Girls and women, boys and men, hear sexist messages (lies and stereotypes) about women throughout their entire lifetimes. They hear that women are stupid, weak, passive, and manipulative, with no capacity for intellectual pursuits or leadership.”

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Sarah Ann never considered Laura’s feelings because they were simply not as important to her as her relationship with Jeramey. When he didn’t choose her, her self-esteem probably took a massive hit. Low self-esteem is also a byproduct of internalized misogyny and Pick-Me-ism. According to a study done by the International Association for Relationship Research, when people are accused of cheating or homewrecking, a sense of cognitive dissonance can happen. And to help cope with the discomfort, they downplay the gravity of their actions.

When someone cheats on their romantic partner, it goes against how most people see themselves and causes a mental conflict called cognitive dissonance. This conflict can lead to feelings of discomfort and guilt. To cope, cheaters often downplay the seriousness of their actions. Both Jeramey and Sarah Ann are acting like they did nothing wrong, and their responses to these scenarios are proof they might feel more guilt than they’ll ever care to admit. After all, an admission of guilt is an admission of wrongdoing, which means taking accountability. And taking accountability requires a level of humility and maturity they’ve yet to display on the show.

Love is Blind is available to stream on Netflix in the U.S. Watch on Netflix

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